The Four Attachments That Keep You From Peace...
They burn quietly beneath every thought, every desire, every “I.” See them clearly, and the fire of suffering begins to fade.
If you prefer to listen to the post instead, go ahead here👇
The Buddha described Upādāna — clinging or attachment — as the fuel that keeps the fire of suffering alive. Without this fuel, craving fades, and peace naturally appears.
We often think suffering comes from the outside world — from people, events, or misfortune. But in truth, what hurts us most is not what happens, but how tightly we hold on to it.
Today, let’s look deeply at the Four Forms of Attachment (Upādāna).
They are not abstract theories.
They are living forces within us, shaping every emotion, thought, and reaction.
When we begin to see them clearly, we stop feeding them.
And when the feeding stops — the fire slowly goes out.
1. Self-Doctrine Clinging (Atta-diṭṭhi-upādāna)
This is the deepest and most subtle form of attachment: the belief in a solid, permanent “I.”
We say:
“I am angry,”
“I am anxious,”
“I am happy,”
…as if there is a fixed owner behind these passing states. But when you sit quietly and look inside, where is this “I”?
The body changes.
The mind changes.
Thoughts appear and disappear.
Even the one who “watches” changes.
Yet we cling to this illusion — and from it, every other form of suffering arises.
When we believe in a solid self, we defend it.
When it feels threatened, we panic.
When it feels weak, we chase power or validation.
When it feels lost, we grasp for identity in roles, achievements, relationships.
But this clinging to self is like trying to hold water in a clenched fist — the tighter we grasp, the faster it slips away.
Seeing through this illusion doesn’t make life meaningless. It makes it lighter.
When you stop fighting to protect the self, compassion and freedom naturally expand.
It’s not about destroying the sense of “me.”
It’s about seeing it for what it truly is — a temporary appearance in awareness, like a wave in the sea.
The wave is real in its motion, but not separate from the ocean that gives it life.
When we understand this deeply, we stop trying to make the wave permanent.
We let it rise, move, and fall — and in doing so, we find peace.
Next time you feel upset, quietly ask, “Who is upset?”
Then look closely. You may find no one solid there — only passing sensations, thoughts, and reactions.
That moment of insight, even for a second, is a glimpse of liberation.
2. Wrong-View Clinging (Diṭṭhi-upādāna)
The Buddha once said: “All suffering is born of wrong view.”
This type of attachment arises when we hold tightly to opinions, judgments, or beliefs — refusing to see life as it really is.
We cling to ideas like:
“Life should be fair.”
“I must always be successful.”
“People must treat me kindly.”
When reality doesn’t match these views, tension arises.
Wrong view also includes denying the laws of nature — impermanence, cause and effect, and the moral truth of our actions.
When we deny these, we drift in confusion.
We live in a world where opinions feel like identities.
Everyone has a stance, a side, a narrative to defend. But wrong view blinds us. It makes us see through filters — of fear, pride, comparison — until what we see is no longer reality, but our own projection of it.
Right view, on the other hand, doesn’t demand blind faith. It is simply seeing clearly: everything changes, actions have results, and suffering comes from craving what can’t stay.
When you release wrong view, you stop wrestling with life. You move with it instead of against it.
Letting go of wrong view doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop insisting that life must conform to your expectations before you can be at peace.
Practice:
Each time you feel resistance, pause and ask:
“What am I believing right now that makes this harder?”
You may find a hidden expectation underneath — and in seeing it, the resistance softens.
Over time, this gentle awareness replaces confusion with wisdom, and opinion with understanding.
3. Rites-and-Rituals Clinging (Sīlabbata-upādāna)
This form of attachment is subtle, especially for spiritual seekers.
It is the belief that external forms — rituals, rules, or ceremonies — can bring liberation on their own.
The Buddha never rejected rituals entirely. He saw their place in grounding and discipline. But he warned: if you mistake the form for the essence, you miss the point.
Lighting incense is not the same as cultivating mindfulness.
Chanting is not the same as seeing clearly.
Following a precept is not the same as freeing the heart.
The Buddha taught that liberation arises not from performing the right actions outwardly, but from understanding inwardly.
The true temple is not made of bricks or candles. It is built moment by moment inside your own awareness.
When mindfulness and wisdom are present, every act — sweeping a floor, sharing a meal, watching your breath — becomes sacred.
When they are absent, even the most elaborate ritual becomes empty.
We live in an age of appearances, where even spirituality can become performance. But awareness cuts through the appearance to the essence — presence itself.
Ask yourself, “Am I doing this practice to look spiritual, or to see clearly?”
The answer will guide you back to what’s real.
If your heart is sincere, even a simple breath taken in awareness is a prayer.
✨ If you’d like to support my work further and walk a little deeper, consider becoming paid subscribers and receive:
Priority access to “Peace Practice Circle”, monthly Q&A threads and early entry to upcoming courses 🌿
Monthly “Peace in the Chest”— 5 minutes audio message helping you quite the noise inside🎧
Monthly live 45-min group zoom call 🧘♂️
📌 Tip for mobile readers
If you’d like to upgrade to paid, please open SubStack in your phone’s browser (Safari/Chrome). The app doesn’t show the upgrade option.
4. Sense-Pleasure Clinging (Kāma-upādāna)
This is the most visible and universal attachment — our clinging to sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches, and thoughts that please us.
Pleasure itself is not the problem.
Even the Buddha enjoyed the beauty of nature, the kindness of others, and the peace of meditation.
The problem is attachment — the craving that says, “I need this to be happy.”
The mind becomes a collector of pleasant experiences, forever restless because each one fades.
When the music stops, we look for another song.
When the meal ends, we crave another flavor.
When praise comes, we fear the silence after.
This chase for satisfaction keeps us spinning in the wheel of becoming — always reaching, never arriving.
The moment we cling to pleasure, we also plant the seed of suffering. Because what we cling to must change.
Pleasure arises, stays for a moment, and then disappears — leaving behind a trace of longing. That longing becomes craving, and craving becomes restlessness.
The more we chase, the less we see what’s already here.
The Buddha compared this to licking honey off a razor blade — sweet for an instant, but painful if clung to.
Next time you enjoy something — a good coffee, a warm breeze, a kind word — notice the joy.
Then gently notice the craving to make it last.
Whisper inwardly: “This too is passing.”
That simple awareness turns desire into understanding.
Seeing the Pattern
The Four Attachments are not separate — they feed each other.
Clinging to self makes us defend our views.
Clinging to views makes us rigid in rituals.
Clinging to rituals keeps us blind to insight.
And all of it is fueled by our clinging to pleasure.
They form a loop, a chain of fire that keeps the mind burning.
But when mindfulness sees any one of them clearly — just one — the chain weakens.
You don’t need to destroy them all at once.
Just see one attachment for what it is, and the fire loses power.
This is why the Buddha’s path begins not with belief, but with seeing.
The moment awareness shines on clinging, it begins to dissolve.
The goal is not to reject the world or numb yourself to experience — it’s to meet the world with open hands instead of clenched fists.
Practice for the Week
This week, take a few quiet moments each day to notice:
What am I clinging to right now?
Is it a belief, a role, a desire, a comfort?
What would happen if I loosened my grip — even a little?
You can do this anywhere — in traffic, at your desk, while washing dishes.
Notice when the mind says, “I need this to be okay.”
Don’t argue with it.
Just breathe, smile, and let the awareness soften the tension.
Letting go is not about pushing something away. It is about allowing space around it — enough space for peace to enter.
And remember: letting go is not loss.
It is returning to the natural state of the heart — open, light, unbound.
Reflection:
These Four Attachments are the hidden architects of our suffering.
They build walls around the mind and then convince us those walls are “home.”
But the truth is softer, freer, more spacious.
When you see that every “mine” and “me” is just a passing wave on the surface of awareness, the ocean of being opens beneath you.
And in that vastness, there is peace — not because the world has changed,
but because your heart has stopped clinging to it.
That is the beginning of true freedom.
Not found in a distant heaven or future moment,
but right here — in the gentle art of letting go.
Until next week my friends.
With Metta💛
Sadhu🙏
🌿 If my work speaks to you, and you feel ready for more calm and clarity in your own life, I’d be happy to sit with you for a quiet chat. No pressure, no fixing — just space to breathe and see things more clearly together.
You can reach out anytime for a heart to heart conversation.
👉Book a Call
Or,
👉E-mail me: peace@nickhashemi.com
✨ If you’d like to support my work further and walk a little deeper, consider becoming paid subscribers and receive:
Priority access to “Peace Practice Circle”, monthly Q&A threads and early entry to upcoming courses 🌿
Monthly “Peace in the Chest”— 5 minutes audio message helping you quite the noise inside🎧
Monthly live 45-min group zoom call 🧘♂️
📌 Tip for mobile readers
If you’d like to upgrade to paid, please open SubStack in your phone’s browser (Safari/Chrome). The app doesn’t show the upgrade option.
Beautifully expressed, Nick. This feels like a quiet purification just to read.
What you say about atta-diṭṭhi-upādāna ( that illusion of a fixed “I” ) reminds me how in bhakti too, we learn to soften the edges of selfhood, not by negating it, but by offering it. It’s as if the wave, on realizing it’s not separate from the ocean, begins to move not for itself but in harmony with the tide.
Where Buddhism speaks of the dissolving of self in awareness, bhakti speaks of its dissolving in love. Both gestures of surrender. Both releases from clinging. Whether through seeing or through serving, the same peace arises when we stop clutching at what was never ours to hold.
Thank you for this reminder. It’s like a gentle bell sounding us back to simplicity. To awareness that breathes, listens, and lets go.
Thank you🙏